My baby doesn’t sleep alone – tips for a better sleep

You love your baby more than anything and are happy to spend as much time as possible with the offspring. After the first few months, in which your baby only slept in the parents’ bed , you feel the need to share the bed with your partner again. The togetherness came up short and you want to sleep through the night without any problems.

It is not so easy for your baby to fall asleep. It can’t just be put in the cradle and after a short story, it falls asleep on its own. No, it requires you to be worn and does not want to leave your side.

But how do you gently get your baby to sleep alone? Learn how to provide your baby with a comfortable environment and guide them to sleep.

Many parents are still unsure of how to deal with their firstborn. They like to compare themselves to other families and feel uncomfortable when their own baby does not quite fit into the “norm”. Other parents happily tell how your baby can be in the cradle and gently fall asleep. You could easily become envious and wonder what is actually going “wrong” with your baby.

The relaxed answer to this question is “nothing”! The sleep behavior of babies is individual. Some long for physical closeness even in toddlerhood, while others appear more independent after just a few months.

When you get your baby used to sleeping alone, you should make it entirely dependent on your individual sleep behavior. If you are basically satisfied with the fact that your baby is sleeping close to you and the sleeping environment safely allows this, there is no reason to change this arrangement as soon as possible.

If you feel unrested and wish that your baby learns to sleep alone , you should get used to it in phases. With patience and continuous discipline, your baby will be able to fall asleep gently on its own.

If your baby only sleeps in your arms and does not want to spend the night alone, this is completely normal. You don’t have to worry that your baby is lagging behind in development or that you are doing something wrong.


The fact that your baby does not sleep alone is by no means due to a wrong upbringing. Rather, it is a natural need of your offspring. If you want to change your sleep behavior, you should be aware of why babies seek closeness to their parents.


Babies can not survive without the help of their parents While most newborns in the animal kingdom can walk after a few days and have a certain instinct for survival, this is not the case with human babies. You are completely exposed to the environment and the only way to overcome danger is by shouting and being close to your parents.

Babies not only seek physical closeness to their parents when they are asleep. Even during the day, you instinctively cling to your mother and at first don’t like being laid on the floor. It takes some effort to get you to feel safe in your surroundings.

Falling asleep alone seems unnatural for babies. Because without the protection of the parents, sources of danger could arise unnoticed to which the newborn would be defenseless . It is therefore perfectly natural that relaxation should only occur in the vicinity of the parents.


During the first nine months, the new life matures in the womb. There it appears to be completely safe and is shielded from all dangers. Suddenly an immense change occurs at birth. The safe environment is left and fear comes to the fore.

Babies seem so vulnerable after 9 months that it is assumed that they should actually stay in the womb longer . Due to the large head circumference and the high energy requirement , a birth in the 9th month is inevitable.

During the first few months in particular, babies are therefore looking for a feeling of security that is reminiscent of the womb. The baby feels comfortable in the parents’ arms and gently falls asleep in the physical vicinity.


If you are satisfied with the current sleeping situation and if your partner also likes the fact that the baby is sleeping in the parents’ bed or the extra bed, you do not have to change the situation. But there are good reasons that speak in favor of your baby preferring to sleep alone.


There are hardly any new parents who are not annoyed by a sleep deficit. But after the first exhausting weeks and months, the situation should relax again. Persistent sleep deprivation can have serious consequences . The consequences of lack of sleep can be felt both physically and mentally. If your baby robs you of sleep, you should get it used to spending the night in your own room. Then you have more time for yourself again and can better meet your need for sleep.


If your baby sleeps in the same bed, there is hardly any room for intimacy. During the acclimatization phase, it may still be bearable when the baby’s needs come first and the partnership has to wait a moment.

Over time, intimacy should not be neglected for a functioning partnership If your baby is still sleeping in the parents’ bed, this will be difficult. Your partner may feel set back and only miss the time together as a couple. Therefore, do not only pay attention to your baby, but give the partnership the necessary attention.


If your baby does not want to sleep alone, this does not only mean that he is looking for you around the night. Falling asleep could also be time consuming. Singing and cuddling together are typical sleep rituals for your baby and the whole thing can drag on for up to an hour.

Because of this laborious process of falling asleep, siblings could feel neglected. You also lack time for yourself and your partner . If falling asleep takes a long time, it helps if your baby becomes a little more independent and can fall asleep on its own.


If you want to change the sleeping behavior of your baby, you should first record the status quo. It is perfectly normal for your baby to sleep all day . But does it already have a fixed rhythm and how much sleep does it need?

The easiest way to do this is to make a sleep log for about 2 weeks . In this you record at what times your child sleeps and how much sleep it needs. You should also note when he or she is sleeping particularly well and is well rested. These data serve as a basis to help you get used to sleeping alone. You are not acting against the needs of your baby, but rather responding to them so that the sleep behavior benefits from it.


If your baby is to sleep in its own baby, it is important to optimally design the sleeping environment. This is not only important so that your offspring accepts the bed and feels comfortable there, but also necessary from a health point of view. Because an unsuitable sleeping environment is one of the main reasons for sudden infant death syndrome . Keep the following principles in mind to help your baby want to sleep alone in bed.


One of the topmost principles should be that your baby feels safe even without being close to the parents. The darkness is uncomfortable even for toddlers, so you have to be considerate of this fear.

night light for children is helpful . This can be equipped with music and a colored light to make the night more pleasant. The light is not intrusive and can be used all night without any problems .

In the first few months you can a baby nest into the cradle put to the feeling of security to create. The nest not only keeps you warm, it is also comfortable and provides a certain protection.


In order for your newborn to survive the night better, you probably instinctively reach for cuddly toys. If possible, you should avoid the cuddly toys in the cradle. There is a risk that your baby will breathe harder and possibly even choke. It’s better to leave the cuddly toys next to the bed and keep the cradle as tidy as possible.


Babies particularly like to sleep in their arms because the gentle movements convey a feeling of security. You can do this in your own children’s room with an electric baby bouncer or a rocking bed . This furniture makes a wonderful contribution to ensuring that your baby feels comfortable and makes it easier for him to get to the land of dreams.


Your newborn is growing rapidly and this could make you believe that it is not worth investing in a high-quality baby mattress . After all, it will soon be necessary to buy a children’s mattress and leave the cradle.

A baby mattress is definitely worth it. They offer your baby a more comfortable sleeping environment and prove to be practical . Moisture is released more reliably and the optimal temperature is maintained. So your baby likes it much better in its own bed and easily falls asleep on its own.


In addition to designing a suitable sleeping environment, there are other tips that you should follow so that your child sleeps alone.


Babies do not yet have a fixed day-night rhythm. Your baby will only be able to sleep in a row for a longer period of time from around the age of 6 months.

If you want your baby to sleep alone, you should watch out for typical signs that indicate that it is tired . If it yawns more and more or rubs its eyes, then it is time to put it in the cradle.

You will hardly be able to keep fixed bedtime times at the beginning. Rather, intuitively pay attention to when your baby is tired and put it to sleep at this point in time.


In order to find your way to sleep better, it is a good idea to continue to plan enough time for a sleep ritual. Since your baby barely adheres to fixed sleeping times, you have to be a little spontaneous here. However, there should always be enough time for a song or a story.


For many parents, smartphones and tablets seem to be a popular means of distracting their offspring. But it is precisely when falling asleep that electronic devices have exactly the opposite effect. They interfere with falling asleep and cause sleep disorders. Avoid using any electronic devices, as the bluish light delays the formation of melatonin.


Once your newborn has finally fallen asleep in its own room, you should n’t leave the room right away. Your baby’s sleep will not be deep enough yet. It overhears you leave the room and starts screaming. Stay a little longer by your child’s side until they sleep deeply enough.


In all of this, it is important to be patient. Every child is different and reacts with varying degrees of reluctance to sleep alone. Above all, do not be angry with your child, but instead allow them to meet their basic needs.

With a lot of calm and patience, your baby will be able to fall asleep alone and no longer need to be close to the parents.


If your baby needs a lot of attention and seeks closeness to you even while sleeping, this is completely normal behavior. Babies are vulnerable to their environment, and sleeping next to their parents is an important survival instinct.

However, it can be useful to get your baby to sleep alone. You have the bed again for you and your partner to spend the nights in close togetherness. You may sleep better and no longer be plagued by lack of sleep.

Create a comfortable sleeping environment and put your baby in their own bed so they can spend the night there. It will slowly get used to the sleeping area and will be happy to enter the land of dreams.

Jamie Clark

Hello, I’m Jamie Clark, 32 years old, and I have been living in the USA for a few years.
Since I was a child, I have suffered from a house dust allergy, severely affecting me. I felt the effects both while exercising and while sleeping. Constant sneezing after getting up and difficult breathing were the consequences. The allergy has also developed into asthma, which is still a sporting restriction today.

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